Pick Us, House Hunters International!
I totally just applied to be on House Hunters International.
Everyone cross your fingers and send good vibes and/or presents to bribe the House Hunters casting people so that one day you can watch me and The Boyfriend look for an apartment in Singapore on TV!
I promise that I won’t be the type of House Hunters person to make Liz Lemon angry.
PROMISE.
Sweet Home . . . Singapore?
2014 has been a crazy year thus far.
I turned 27!
I published a book!
I’ve gone skiing in Vermont and went muggleing about at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I saw The Avett Brothers and Old Crow Medicine Show in concert. I toured vineyards on Long Island’s North Fork and have generally followed the sage advice of Tom and Donna, and treated myself. Well.
And things just keep on coming.
Because in addition to traveling and turning the age that a lot of famous people have died and publishing a book, I will also be moving to Singapore.
Marina Bay Sands/”downtown” (??) business district area.
Yep.
SINGAPORE.
This is where Singapore is located/what it looks like. It’s okay that you didn’t know before right now. I basically didn’t either.
Yes, I’m excited.
Yes, I’m absolutely terrified.
No, I don’t know what I’ll be doing for work.
No, I will not be flying Malaysia Airlines.
Why, yes, I would like for you to send my resume (C.V., whatever.) to your family friend/cousin/college roommate’s boyfriend who now lives there. So nice of you to offer.
But in all seriousness, this is crazy-pants. I’ve barely been abroad (a month traveling around Greece in 2006 and a trip to Thailand/Singapore in 2013), let alone lived in another country. But, when the opportunity* arises to live abroad, you have to say yes. So I did.
I’ll be leaving NYC July 12th, which is so, so weird. I’ve lived here for four years and it’s been a wonderful, though at times very lonely and uncertain, ride. But all in all, I’ve loved (nearly) every second of living in New York and the idea of leaving hasn’t quite settled fully on me yet.
But after driving away, I’ll be road tripping my way to Arkansas, where I’ll hang out for a solid six weeks and pretend like I’m a college kid and have summers off**, which will include drinking all the cheap booze and eating foods that are not Asian and going to Crystal Bridges a lot and hanging out at the farmer’s market on the weekends and around the U of A campus like a creeper and writing at coffee shops and probably doing a shit ton of yoga. And then I’ll fly away to another hemisphere (!!) in September.
It’s going to be a crazy adventure.
I’m (mostly) psyched.
*Opportunity = The Boyfriend got his dream job there and asked me to move with him.
**Unless I get a job in Singapore and need to be there earlier
Language: A (Very) Short Screenplay
INT.—NIGHT
SHE is driving down a very dark road after picking HE up from the airport.
SHE
So, I almost witnessed this heap big wreck on my way to pick you up—
HE, interrupting
Did you just say ‘heap big’?
SHE
Yes, stop interrupting. So this massive douche canoe was weaving in and out—
HE, interrupting again
Did you just say ‘douche canoe’?
SHE
Yep.
HE
Did you make that up?
SHE
Nope.
HE
I don’t believe you.
SHE
People say ‘douche canoe’! Let me finish my story!
HE
So you saw a wreck.
SHE
No. I almost witnessed a heap big wreck.
HE sighs audibly as SHE continues to tell her story with all the “made up” words she wants.
FADE TO BLACK.
So. I Wrote A Book.
Hi!
I have a story to tell you.
It’s about writing a book.
(I know, a story about writing a book, WTF. Bear with me.)
Back in 2011, I started writing a story that wouldn’t get out of my head. It was about two teenagers who meet in an airport. That has to happen all the time, right? So, what would happen if these two teenagers meet and then, you know, become friends? And then, maybe, possibly, more than friends?
I couldn’t get those questions out of my head. So I wrote and wrote and wrote, and revised and revised and revised, and sent my manuscript out to literary agents.
I got some really great feedback, but the resounding answer from the agents I submitted to was that they didn’t think they could sell my book to a publishing house and therefore would not be representing me and my writing at this time.
I totally get that. They have to make money. It’s business.
But it still sucked.
So I sat around and moped for a bit, and then a friend of mine said, “You could always self-publish.”
Now, self-publishing is a really cool model, but it’s sort of the Wild West in a lot of ways. There are no rules. There are no formulas. Anyone can do it. But it’s hard to do it well.
That made me nervous.
But after some thinking and some more rejection from agents, I thought, “You know. Maybe self-publishing is the way to go. What do I have to lose?”
So I hired an editor (the brilliant Tara Quigley) and a cover designer (the fantastic Paige Doscher) and that brings us to today.
The day my book, Taking Flight, written under the pseudonym Erin Brown, is on sale.
If you feel so inclined, you can buy the book at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
So that’s my story.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
Friday, 7:15 AM: A (Very) Short Screenplay
INT—MORNING. SHE comes into the bedroom after having walked the dog. HE is still asleep. SHE takes off her shoes, then starts heading toward the ensuite bathroom. Halfway there, she grabs her phone and types something in. Then she moves to HIS side of the bed and places her phone on the bedside table.
SHE
Morning.
The phone starts playing an annoying YouTube ad, which she promptly skips. Then the sounds of Bill Withers’s “Lovely Day” begin.
HE, without opening his eyes, begins to shoulder dance. SHE joins in.
FADE TO BLACK.
Bethany Larson 