Bethany Larson

This week has been hard for me. Not because the writing part of the equation was hard, but because the oh-so crippling self-doubt snuck into my brain and laid a whole bunch of evil eggs there.

This happens from time to time. I’ll be chugging along on my work in progress (WIP) and I’ll be feeling great about it and then, right as I’m really hitting my stride this supremely evil voice from somewhere in my brain whispers, “Why are you wasting your time? I mean, out of all those people who want agents and want to be published, why would anyone ever pick you out of a slush pile? Do you really think you are talented enough to have an agent be so impressed with your miserable little manuscript that they’ll actually want to represent you? That they’ll actually want to spend time and energy otherwise used on writers worth a damn on you?”

I won’t lie to y’all, that stupid voice is staggering and crippling and makes me want to curl up in a ball and rock back and forth. It’s really just the worst. And sometimes it’s really hard to not listen to it. Because I think, “You know, Evil Voice, you are right. If I just give up now, I’ll really benefit from not having to go through the sting of rejection letters and critiques and mean reviews. And! I’d have so much more free time! And I’d see my friends more often! And I could just sit and watch all those TV shows I want to watch! And I’d sleep more!”

This voice of self-doubt really hit me hard this week. I spent a lot of last weekend writing and really loving where my manuscript was headed and then BAM. There was The Evil Voice. It was so convincing that I actually took a couple days in the middle of the week away from my WIP thinking that if I walked away from it and didn’t feel the need to go back to it, I wouldn’t.

But of course I felt that pull. On Friday I woke up able to see an entire scene that had been giving me fits earlier in the week. I could hear dialogue, as if my characters had come to life and I was just listening to them have a conversation. (I’ve never claimed to be normal.) And if that weren’t enough, a couple characters I actually had walked away from about a year ago started whispering to me too. (I missed them a whole bunch. I’m glad they’re back.)

So, for me, what this all boils down to is this: Yes, I desperately (so, so desperately) want to be agented (I think I made that word up) and published. I’ve wanted to be published since I was seven-years-old, and that dream isn’t going to go away. I want it so badly that it hurts. And sometimes I do this really unhealthy thing where I go into a bookstore and stare at the spot where my book would go on the shelf. Normally this makes me cry a little. And yes, obviously, I would love for this manuscript to be the one that gets me an agent and is sold to my dream pub house and sells lots o’ copies and gives me piles o’ monies.

But if this isn’t the magic manuscript that gives me all of those things, I’ll live. (I’ll be sad, but it won’t kill me. I don’t think.) I have other stories rattling around in my brain and characters who want to be brought to the page. And most importantly, I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep writing and learning and honing and growing and hopefully one day (please let it be in the not-too-distant future) all of my publication dreams will come true. But if they don’t . . .

If they don’t I guess I’ll just self-pub. 😉

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY!

It’s been a long week.

But! Now it’s bright, shiny Friday and I have plans tonight with my Nigel friend whom I haven’t seen in far too freaking long and I am EXCITED.

I’m also a big fan of Ginger’s question o’ the week. So let’s to it, shall we?

But now that I’ve written all of that it occurs to  me that a character I love to hate doesn’t have to be a villian. Ohhhh well. So, here’s my list! 

This is EXACTLY how I picture Mimi.

Lydia Bennett (Pride and Prejudice): Lydia Bennett is The Worst. She’s vapid and silly and idiotic. (SPOILERS ahead for those of you who haven’t read P&P. BTW, you need to right that wrong RIGHT NOW.) But if there were no Lydia Bennett, then Elizabeth may well have run off with Wickham and DEAR GOD. So I love Lydia because she allowed for Darcy to shine. (And Oh, how he shone! *swoons*)


So there you have it! I hope y’all all have a wonderful weekend ahead of you. And if you’re going to YALLFest, have a rockin’ time and give big hugs to everyone you see for me. Also, I am super jealous of you to the point that you sicken me. But do not let that worry you. Enjoy your time anyway. While you’re there, I will be . . . *runs to bookshelf to re-read my tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice for the thousandth time *

Title: Eve
Author: Anna Carey
Publisher: Harper Teen
Release Date: October 4, 2011

The year is 2032, sixteen years after a deadly virus—and the vaccine intended to protect against it—wiped out most of the earth’s population. The night before eighteen-year-old Eve’s graduation from her all-girls school she discovers what really happens to new graduates, and the horrifying fate that awaits her. 

Fleeing the only home she’s ever known, Eve sets off on a long, treacherous journey, searching for a place she can survive. Along the way she encounters Caleb, a rough, rebellious boy living in the wild. Separated from men her whole life, Eve has been taught to fear them, but Caleb slowly wins her trust…and her heart. He promises to protect her, but when soldiers begin hunting them, Eve must choose between true love and her life.—Goodreads


I’ll be up front: Eve is bleak. Like, zombie apocalypse (and not in the funny way) bleak. There are hardly any people left. Cars and homes and buildings are just abandoned and falling apart. And if you’re a smart and lovely eighteen-year-old orphan who has just realized that her future does not hold a great job, as she was led to believe, and you decide to run away from the only home you’ve ever known into the FREAKING WOODS to try and get to a utopian-sounding place that may or may not actually exist, all of this bleakness becomes even more bleak.

The world Carey creates in Eve is intense and terrifying in a very real way. She does a beautiful job of describing death and decay and straight-up hopelessness. And she also does a very intriguing job of imagining what education would be like in a world where the population is emaciated—read: girls are taught that men are terrifyingly carnal and awful by reading Romeo and Juliet. (That actually made me laugh a little because I’m not one who loves Romeo and Juliet.) So when Eve meets a boy—the oh-so chivalrous Caleb—who is nice to her, she is VERY DUBIOUS of him. And then he takes her to his Cave of Boys and she realizes that everything she was taught was a perversion of the truth.

From there, Eve becomes the Wendy to Caleb’s group of Lost Boys. And just about the time that I was getting comfortable with the story and thinking that things would maybe end up being okay for everyone, THINGS BECAME  NOT OKAY. And they stayed not okay.

By the end of Eve, my heart was broken into about three thousand pieces and I was so, so grateful for my family and friends and job and apartment and food and world. And I desperately wanted the next book in this trilogy, because it ends in a place of OMG WTF.

Although, I will say this—if this book was a stand-alone, I think I’d be weirdly ok with how it ends. But I’ll stop talking about the ending of this book now and just tell you to go read it if you so choose. 🙂

Overall, Eve is a gorgeously devastating book. If you like a good dystopian read, definitely check this one out. And if you’re not so much into dystopia but are willing to give it a shot because you are a person who likes good books and are open-minded enough to try anything, this might be the one to sway you in favor of the dystopian genre. But know this: this is not dystopian-light. It is straight up unhappy.

But you know what’s not unhappy? CALEB. If nothing else, read the book for Caleb. *swoons*

Title: Timepiece
Author: Myra effing McEntire, y’all!
Publisher: Egmont USA
Release Date: June 12, 2012 (ROAR!!!!)

THIS IS THE SEQUEL TO HOURGLASS. IT IS GOING TO BE AWESOME. THERE IS NO OTHER POSSIBILITY.

Also, let’s chat about this ARC cover. The photography is by Lissy Laricchia. If you ever find yourself bored and wanting to look at something pretty and whimsy and gorgeous, check out her website and her Flickr. It makes me wish that I was good at photography. And, you know, art. My super-incredible sister got those skillz instead of me.

ANYWAY. Timepiece is going to be magnificent. You should probably just go ahead and pre-order the book now. And if you haven’t read Hourglass yet, GET ON THAT. And buy copies of it for everyone you know as presents for Christmas. Which is less than six weeks away. (Let that sink in for a second.)

Waiting on Wednesday is weekly meme hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine.

So, about a week and a half ago, I went to see The Civil Wars in concert.

This was very exciting for me.

But what was more exciting was that I ended up TOTALLY SUPER-DIGGING their opening act, Milo Greene.

I had seen the name on the website when I bought my tickets for the show, but I didn’t really take the time to look up who Milo Greene is or what his music sounds like. I figured if he’s opening for The Civil Wars, he can’t be bad.

Turns out, Milo Greene is a band and not a single person. And it also turns out that they are AWESOME. They all switch instruments and sing prettily and they’re all really attractive and sometimes there is a BANJO. Y’all know how I feel about banjos. AND they did a crazy-amazing cover of “Chicago” by Sufjan Stevens and I just about died.

They don’t have their music on iTunes (I assume because they don’t want to pay Apple the 30% of their profits, which I wouldn’t either, so more power to them) and there aren’t a ton of YouTube videos yet, but here is what I found:

http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/track=3665596881/size=venti/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=4285BB/
And, if you visit their website you can hear four of their songs. But pretty much the only place to get all of their stuff is LIVE. Which is sort of genius. They’re on tour with The Civil Wars through the end of this year, so if you can get tickets at a show near you, I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it.

Tune in Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by Ginger at GReadsBooks.